What REALLY Makes Some People Magnetic? What is their SECRET?
By Christine Akiteng
Have you ever found yourself so engulfed in a man or woman to the point where you are totally convinced that the two of you have a “divine” connection because they have a special way of making you feel “warm and fuzzy” inside or feel very special?. May be it’s your boss, the pastor at your local church, the cute girl next door or a perfect stranger you just met. The eyes, hug or a hand shake did the trick; but there was just something about the person that made your libido sit up and howl.
That something my dear is what is known as sexual aura or sexual presence.
Some people have it oozing from every pore of their skin while the rest of us spend thousands of dollars in speed seduction seminars or hours and hours surfing the internet for the next sociological study to tell us how to be magnetic to the opposite sex.
Whether instinctively or through practice these people have developed a particular way of BE -ing present, which among other things, is an ingredient of their erotic presence. We are attracted to the way the person experiences him or herself, or at least how we perceive they experience the world around them, and feel sorely tempted to initiate first contact with them even knowing the consequences.
But what REALLY makes these people so magnetic? What is their SECRET?
Simple. They present themselves to others with no other intention than to be fully seen – not to impress, not to influence or deceive but be open and let their sexual Being-ness be seen. Any size or shape, magnetic people simply show and everything just "happens”.
Many of us however have constrained ourselves in the way we experience ourselves sexually. Whether it is in how we live in our body - we restrict our movement and become really rigid and inflexible in those parts of our body that we associate with the sexual or sex or limiting sexual attitudes and beliefs scripted through custom and habit.
When with the opposite sex and trying to attract one, we select sides of ourselves to present that we think are favourable. In most instances, our language and actions are equally selected to correspond or match the side of us we’re trying to present. We chose a side to present because we feel that one side of ourselves is stronger or more acceptable to the other person, but mostly we chose based on an insecurity that we are hiding: long suppressed feelings of vulnerability resulting from the countless negative messages about sex and sexual pleasure that we were fed with in our childhood or emotional and sexual wounds from sexual abuse and unhealthy early modes of sexual and erotic transference and learning. We consider these parts of ourselves to be defective, inadequate or bad, and we hide them, hoping like a child, that no one will see.
We fear that if we let others see these parts of us, they will see these shamed, insecure, vulnerable and hurt parts of ourselves and they too will find us defective or unattractive. Because we don’t accept and embrace all our innermost feelings, thoughts and intimate interpersonal issues, including our sexual desires and urges, or even are aware of them, we don't believe that the other person will accept them either. This in turn forces our intimate connections to remain emotionally shallow and physically superficial. These separate parts of us that we are trying to hide are what sends us out to seek affirmation and refutation of our own sense of self through all sorts of self-sabotaging techniques that do no favour or good to the person we are trying to seduce.
Don’t think that you can “hide" behind pick-up lines and seduction scripts and expect to look into a mirror and see “sexiness”, not to mention expect others to see it. Your ego can stand tall and pretend that you are some kind of idealized version of yourself but often those you try to be intimate with sense those hidden parts of you and respond in different ways.
Even if you are able to “fool” someone with a “sexy” outfit, “sexy” moves, pick up lines and techniques or even “good” communication skills, at some point in your life together you are bound to “slip up” or simply just get tired of “acting” scripts. When this happens an inner switch flips inside of the other person which creates an invisible barrier and even though that process and the barrier are invisible, they are still very real and very obvious - the attractiveness and magnetism just isn't there anymore!
Sometimes, if they have parts of themselves they are trying to hide too, they’ll join in the cover up. You will get a few hits from equally insecure men and women, but after a while you’ll feel as empty and worthless as before because the deeper parts of you will cry out or more than a romp in the sack with a really insecure man or woman!
To become an empowered attractive and magnetic man or woman, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You have to open to the deeper parts of yourself. You have to practice presenting yourself with no other intention than to be fully seen – not to impress, not to influence or deceive but be open and let your sexual Being-ness be seen.
It's only by allowing ourselves to be fully known by another that we allow ourselves to be fully loved.
About the Author: Combining modern and ancient wisdom, internationally renowned Sexual Confidence and Dating Coach, Christine Akiteng has helped hundreds rediscover their many untapped and unique deep-down NATURAL and PRIMAL characteristics that make them incredibly attractive, desired and valued by the opposite sex. Her sassy, spunky and unique advice on captivating the opposite sex and creating a fulfilling sexual life combines self-awareness, a dynamic, free and spontaneous expression of the authentic self, mystery, spirituality and pure raw sensuality.
Christine's website: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
This Article was brought to you by TC4Women Health Center
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