The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
-Jan King
A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
-Linda Ellerbee
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
-Geri Jewell
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine Aird
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss...and they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
-Stephanie Piro
Behind every successful woman...... is a basket of dirty laundry.
-Sally Forth
Women's virtue is man's greatest invention.
-Cornelia Otis Skinner
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