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"You know you're a redneck when......
>>1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
>>2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
>>3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
>>4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
>>5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
>>6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
>>7.You offer to give someon! e the shirt off your back and they don't want
>>it.
>>8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
>>9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
>>10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
>>11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
>>12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
>>13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
>>14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
>>15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
>>16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
>>17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
>>18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
>>19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
>>20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
>>21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
>>it.
>>22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
>>23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
>>the side.
>>24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
>>25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
>>26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
>>27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
>>improvements.
>>28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
>>29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
>>30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
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