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My Resume
My first job
was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned,
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor,
I wasn't suited for it,
mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory
but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef,
figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it,
I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory,
I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman,
and discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job
working for a pool maintenance company,
the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center,
they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work
I finally got a job as a historian,
until I realized there was no future in it.
I could have been a Violinist,
but found I'm too high-strung.
A Bowler,
but it's not up my alley,
A Magician,
but the urge vanished,
A Librarian,
but I shelved the idea,
A Plumber,
but it was only a pipe-dream
My last job
was working at Starbucks,
I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND
I FOUND
I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB.
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