Promises, promises. I try not to make too many promises any more. I'm living now with promises I made years ago, and I don't have that many years left that I can tie myself up for ages with promises...at least not big ones.
I was raised with many values, some of which I have discarded over the decades. However, the ideas of duty, honor, obligation, all of which are tied to keeping promises, have remained an integral part of my nature, despite all that has happened to me, good or bad, as a result.
I cannot discard those ideas as parts of the person that I am. Therefore, in self-defense, I discard the making of promises to which those may bind me. I would love to make big promises, but, I am no longer capable of fulfilling them, and, I am tired from honoring promises made long ago.
Maybe if I had learned this sooner, I might have been more reasonable In my promises. I must be who I am, even if it's not who I want to be, because being someone who is NOT me is nobody I want to be. I wrote about confusion the other day. I guess I'm still confused.
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