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JOKE OF THE DAY ~ POST HERE DAILY !!!
7/27/2012 9:26:27 PM
Hey all, let's add a new topic, not just money-making ok? Let's make this a "Joke-of-the-Day" thread and post funny jokes & pictures daily (CLEAN PLEASE, no cursing or nudity). Thanks so much for your encouragement, we can all use some. Steve, forum mgr.


Adlandpro is one of my fave sites as the people are fanta-bulous, the networking is great, having a place to share ads and info rocks! For over 20 years now I've been part of a huge T.E.A.M., where "Together Everyone Achieves More." Our dreams and goals are to help as many folks succeed as possible no matter what occupation or biz you are in. I have 3 main blogs or websites, including expertise in blogging, forums, communities, network marketing, social networking, advertising, lead generation, SEO & more. Love connecting with like-minded individuals. Thanks so much, Mark Stephen Hauser of http://www.facebook.com/martinezshopper and my main blog https://martinezshopperdotws.blogspot.com/
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RE: JOKE OF THE DAY ~ POST HERE DAILY !!!
7/27/2012 10:06:52 PM

Hi Steve,

Mother Nature plays the best jokes...

Why is it that no matter where I put my small flowerpot in the yard, even when I hang it up somewhere, the boys always get the football into it every day and wreck the flowers and spill some of the soil out of it? Must be magnetic flowers & football, also magnetic fences & golfball, every wood surface out there has golfball damage, also other objects seem to attract the football like a magnet, the lawn furniture and backdoor have also suffered because of the wayward football.

I wanted to get to the bank today before 5 pm, it was going to rain, but I thought maybe I'd have time...I had a little time...it started steadily raining as I was going up the hill, then as I left the bank, it was pouring, I was wearing a heavy hood jacket on a warm humid day, sweating...and then of course about 15 minutes after I got home, the sun came out! I've had the jacket over a chair and it's dripping rainwater all over the place, I'd forgotten how saturated our clothing gets...we didn't have any rain for 5 weeks, then of course I got rained on.

Yesterday, I was watching a baby squirrel try to get an entire piece of toast into a small hole in the tree, it kept dropping the toast, running down the tree to pick it up, and running back up the tree and trying to go into the hole with the toast, but the toast was too big and he kept dropping it, he did that at least 5 times, maybe more...I went in the house then and looked out the window, he did it 2 more times. How much running up & down a tree with a piece of toast does it take to make a little squirrel tired?

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RE: JOKE OF THE DAY ~ POST HERE DAILY !!!
7/27/2012 10:29:40 PM
What did the buffalo say when his oldest child left for college? "Bison!"
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RE: JOKE OF THE DAY ~ POST HERE DAILY !!!
7/28/2012 12:54:54 AM
This seem to be a joke to many! Oh how just don't know...
  • 1950
    Often looked to as a model era, the 1950s may have been nearly as picture-perfect as "Leave it to Beaver" seemed to suggest --minimum wage workers could pay rent for a month for less than a week and a half of full-time work -- or catch Disney's "Cinderella" for just over a half-hour of labor.
    • Minimum wage: $0.75 per hour
    • Gas: $0.27 or 22 minutes
    • Movie ticket: $0.48 or 38 minutes
    • Rent: $42 or 56 hours
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RE: JOKE OF THE DAY ~ POST HERE DAILY !!!
2/2/2013 1:41:51 PM
Good stuff. To: undisclosedrecipients@martinezshopper.ws
Subject: FW: Should I Really Join Facebook?

________________________________________

Subject: Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)

Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)

Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting World.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship. When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

Us senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Adlandpro is one of my fave sites as the people are fanta-bulous, the networking is great, having a place to share ads and info rocks! For over 20 years now I've been part of a huge T.E.A.M., where "Together Everyone Achieves More." Our dreams and goals are to help as many folks succeed as possible no matter what occupation or biz you are in. I have 3 main blogs or websites, including expertise in blogging, forums, communities, network marketing, social networking, advertising, lead generation, SEO & more. Love connecting with like-minded individuals. Thanks so much, Mark Stephen Hauser of http://www.facebook.com/martinezshopper and my main blog https://martinezshopperdotws.blogspot.com/
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