“When I was 5 years old, a drunk driver ran a red light. She was clocked at 120 miles per hour, and she crashed into my family’s car,” Joe remembers. “My sister, Maria, who was 11, was thrown from the backseat through the windshield. I was thrown out of the car and into the woods. The tragedy really was my dad and my sister — both passed away.
“After the accident, at the hospital, I woke up in a bed, and my mom was sitting next to me, and I said to her, ‘I can’t feel my legs.’ Just as I said that, a doctor walked in and said, ‘Yes, son. You’re paralyzed, and you’re never going to walk again.’ When I heard the words, you’re scared. You’re basically just terrified because you don’t know what your life is going to be like now. I was a prisoner in my own body.
“When we went to court with Andrea, the drunk driver, Andrea got away with everything,” Joe says. “She got no jail time, no nothing. What really devastated me that haunts me to this day is that when she got off the stand, she looked at my mother and said, ‘Hurray for me and * you.’ How do you do that? How do you do that to somebody and devastate a family and then have no remorse, not even giving a *?” Joe asks, growing tearful.
“I’m 45 years old. I’ve been in a wheelchair since I was 5 years old. I’ve been sitting for 40 years in this chair. Growing up without a father is terrible, because he’s the one you go to for advice. He’s your counselor. If you have a problem, who do you talk to — your father. I didn’t have that. I carry a lot of anger for what happened because I don’t know if she understands the devastation she caused. She’s ruined my life physically, financially, and mentally and emotionally. She’s literally destroyed it. I got the chair for a crime I didn’t commit. She should’ve gotten the chair,” Joe says.
Healing Forty Years of Anger and Pain
Dr. Phil explains, “I need to say in fairness that the drunk driver in this situation is not here to defend herself. We did contact her and said, ‘We’re calling from the Dr. Phil show, and we’re calling about what happened with [Joe],’ and she hung up." He tells Joe, "I have to say that the things you say are allegations. You know in your mind what’s true and what’s not. But enough about her, I want to talk about you.” Dr. Phil asks Joe how he’s been able to deal with what happened.
Joe says it’s a constant challenge. “This could all have been prevented. It’s senseless. And it’s almost like I chronically put the blame on that person,” he says.
“You still have a lot of anger and pain from this every day,” Dr. Phil notes.
“Yeah,” Joe says, as tears fill his eyes.
Dr. Mancini and Dr. Phil have advice for Joe, and Joe shares the inspiration behind starting The Spinal Cord Foundation.
“I can forgive anybody for anything," Joe says. "When I was told that she hung up and didn’t want to come on the show, it only bothered me for the fact that, 'maybe this is a good time now for me to come to terms with this. And if this gentleman is coming on the Dr. Phil show, obviously, he wants some type of closure with me,’ and she could’ve done that, but she didn’t.”
Dr. Phil points out that the emotional prison that Joe is stuck in locks from the inside, not the outside. “You don’t need her to come on here and unlock that door to let you out,” he says.
“I see,” Joe says.
At the end of the show, Dr. Phil offers Joe professional counseling in his hometown to help him work through his anger and pain. He also tells him a new wheelchair is on its way. SpinLife.com is going to customize Joe a brand new Quickie 2 lightweight wheelchair. It folds for easy transport and weighs just 29 pounds, which makes it easier for Joe to self-propel. The Quickie 2 is very easy to adjust for a custom fit and its Q-Fit technology ensures a tight and secure fit for all components right out of the box.