Chapter Four:The Way of Humanity18

Yi Chŏngwon asked,
“What can I do so that I do not get attached to either hatred or love and so that I can maintain a well-rounded state of mind?”
The Founding Master said,
“The method for remaining free of attachment to hatred or love depends on always knowing how to redirect one’s thoughts well. Presume that someone hates me: instead of thoughtlessly hating the other person, first consider the fundamental cause. If I did something to warrant being hated, then I should work hard to rectify it; and if I didn’t do any such thing, then I should just receive it serenely, knowing that this is due to karma accumulated in past lives. At the same time, considering that I feel bad, if only for a moment, when someone hates me, I must make up my mind not to hate anyone. If I can do this, the person who hates me will become a teacher who teaches the dharma of using my mind. When I recognize that person as my teacher, how would any thoughts of hatred arise in me? This is exactly the method of not being attached to hatred. Again, if someone loves me, instead of thoughtlessly exulting in it, I must first consider the cause. If I did something to deserve being loved, then I should make sure that that cause will never change. But if it is a love that I receive without deserving it, then I must know that it is just a debt. Also, there is both proper and improper love. While a proper love is all right, you must also learn how to sever an improper love. Even when it is a proper love, if you detect signs that your attachment to it might hinder other matters, then you must be resolute and endeavor generally to have no failings in handling your affairs. This is the method to avoid getting attached to love. If you continue with this practice of not getting attached to either love or hate, then you will soon achieve a well-rounded state of mind.”

http://www.wonbuddhism.org/