A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.

Hi Mahlon,

NOW THAT"S FUNNY! Thanks for the Grins & Guffaws.

Here's a few you might not have heard...

What Kind Of Farter Are You?

• Proud: You think your farts are exceptionally fine.

• Shy: You release silent farts and then blush.

• Impudent: You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.

• Unfortunate: You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.

• Scientific: You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.

• Nervous: You stop in the middle of your fart.

• Honest: You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.

• Dishonest: You far and then blame the dog.

• Foolish: You suppress your farts for hours.

• Thrifty: You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.

• Anti-Social: When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.

• Strategic: You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.

• Sadistic: You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.

• Intellectual: You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.

__________

Dave Barry
Toilet Testers Always Strive to Come Out No. 2

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A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little hole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell French toast!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell pancakes!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way.
So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is molasses."

__________

Did you hear about Robin Hood's house?
It has a little John.

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One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart.

__________

Forrest Gump is wrong,
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates,
It's like a jar of jalapenos.
You never know when it's going to burn your tail.

__________

Have A Great Weekend,

Phil