I will quit texting while driving. I will. Sure, I will. Like I amgoing to ignore someone important in my life. Now, would that be right?No. Instead, I am going to put myself and everyone else drivinganywhere near me in danger to answer a text message saying "What areyou doing?" Well, I was driving. Now, I am texting. We all really need to make and keep this 2010 New Year's resolution. Somehow, I doubt it. Seriously.

Hi Flash,

Here's a few you might like...

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Things You Don't Say To The Cop Who Pulls You Over

1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer

2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in

3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?

4. You must've been doin about 125 mph to keep up with me! good job!

5. Excuse me, is stick 'em up hyphenated?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer

7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

8. You're not gonna check the trunk are you?

9. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

10. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell out of my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control...

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A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.

"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.

She rolled down her window and said, "What makes you think these are all mine?"

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A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Um, yeah..." the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch all the fish?"

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A blonde is driving down the freeway in her car when her boyfriend calls on the cell phone. When she picks up the phone he says, "Hi honey, it's me, I just wanted to call and tell you to be careful, it says on the news that there is a car driving the wrong way on the freeway."
She says, "There's not one, there's hundreds of them!!"

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Have A Fun Day My Friend,

Phil