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1. What do you call Santa’s cat? Claws!
2. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
3. He hired a lawyer who tried to get him off an insanity clause.
4. “Doctor, doctor I feel like a Christmas cracker”. “Be careful that you are not pulled apart”.
5. “Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb and the Christmas light. Now turn it off and get to bed!” said Thomas Edison's mother.
6. James was asked to bring the Christmas decorations down from the attic and start decorating the house and tree. Heavily laden with many boxes, he slipped and fortunately only fell about four steps before landing on his behind. Sarah heard the noise and in a concerned voice asked, “What was that Bang?” “I just fell off the ladder,” he explained. “Anything broken?” she asked. James replied, “No, I'm fine”. There was just a slight pause. Sarah said, “No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?”
7. The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday school teacher told her class about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape to Egypt. After the story time, the class were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story. Most of the pictures were predictable, but Rob’s had an odd element in it. “Rob, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey? “It's the flea”. “What flea?” asked the teacher. To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse: “Take Mary and Jesus and flee to Egypt. There's Mary; there's Jesus; and there’s the flea”.
8. Joan asked her Sunday school class to draw pictures of their favourite Christmas Bible stories. She was puzzled by Little James picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. ‘The Flight to Egypt,’ said James. “I see... and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,” Joan said. “But who's the fourth person?” “Oh, that's Pontius, the Pilot!”
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