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Hello All My AdlandPro Friends and Family!
Here is Commandment #9 for you!
"Wherever thou art, therein also is the party."
I know some of you are probably wondering what I mean by that, right? Well, can you remember a time when you were in school, where your whole class was having a great day? Maybe it was a field trip, or an Easter party, or maybe decorating for the prom. Whatever the event may have been, you were at home sick in bed with a flu or something. I remember a time that this happened to me...I missed a Valentine's Day party, and all day I was thinking about how much fun I was missing! Do you feel sometimes that a party is going on somewhere other than where you are?
Whenever you are feeling as if you're missing out on the action, as if you're not in the "right place", then you start to become "contracted." Over time, this can lead to depression, fatigue, and bad self-esteem. You're almost never content, you're not able to be in the moment where you are. There always seem to be this fantasy place somewhere else, some greener pasture where you're "supposed to be."
Many people go through life searching for that "right place," never knowing where it may be found. Occasionally, they may find a "right" job or a "right" partner - but before too long some flaw will be found, and then there you go searching again! People who have this mind-set always seem to be searching, never finding; they're always en route to go somewhere, but never arriving. Then one day they discover that, like the spider, their life is spun from inside themselves, from their own inner spirit. They are in the right place and now is the right time.
Healthy self-esteem believes that wherever you are is where the party is. "Party" does not mean just food, friends, and festivities - it means being in the right place. That can be with others, or it might mean being alone with yourself. People who believe that they are where the party is carry themselves with a certain strength and buoyancy through life. They tend to magnetize wonderful supportive events and people to themselves. They seem to have a resilience in dealing with uncomfortable situations.
Resolutions -
1) Write a time line of your life, noting the places and times you felt great about, and the places and times you didn't feel great about. For example, grade school, high school, home, camp, college, a particular job.
2) Check the percentage of places you felt were "right" for you vs, places you felt were leading to a "better place."
3) Realistically evaluate your ability to be in the moment and enjoy where you are. If you rate your ability for that as low, practice believing that wherever you are is the place to be and see how your self-esteem expands.
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When you are always looking for greener pastures it is an never ending search. It will always seem to you that one is greener than the other. In all actually though, they are not greener, or better at all. In fact, you may find out the other pasture is not nearly as good as the one you were at before, and then you will only get depressed for leaving to begin with.
Once you can learn to be content with yourself and where you are at things will look much brighter to you. Some people are not comfortable to be alone, they feel they need to be out and about, or else they are missing out on something. It is not necessary to always be on the go, you should be comfortable enough with yourself to be at home alone and be content. You can learn to have a good time with yourself, and having a healthy self-esteem will allow you to do that.
Have you ever been told you have a magnetic personality? People like that tend to draw people and good situations to them. That is someone with a healthy self-esteem that is content with themselves. That is where you want to get to, what you want to strive for. And you can do it if you try! Once you are at that point notice how much better you feel about life and yourself!
Marilyn L. Ali
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