Hello All My AdlandPro Friends and Family! Here is commandment #6 for you today! "What is not right for thee is also not right for thy brethren." How many times have you heard someone say, "Our marriage was pretty unhappy; we fought alot, but we stayed together for the sake of our kids"? If you were to talk to the kids, who are now grown, many times you will hear them say that they wished their parents had split up. In a well meaningful effort to do what they thought was "right:" for others they ended up doing something "wrong", injuring themselves and others. During all those years of struggle together the children could feel the discord alot more than the parents realized. Whenever we make choices that are not appropriate for us "for the sake of others", those decisions may lead to conditions that are not appropriate for those others as well. Being true to ourselves does not mean that we simply follow whatever whim comes our way, at the expense of others. It does mean though that we weigh very carefully how any decision involves our own well-being as well as that of others. When you first start practicing this commandment, it is common to feel "selfish". This is normal, and most people with low self-esteem need to feel what it's like to value themselves. Remember that "ish" means "having a quality of, or touch of", so selfish merely means "having a sense of self". By learning to do what is right for us consistently, we begin to reclaim our self on a very deep level. This is probably the most difficult commandment to follow, because it involves choosing what's right for you - which implies having the faith that it will be right for others as well. Resolutions - 1) Take inventory of your life. Discover areas in which you are being less than true to yourself. 2) Ask yourself the reasons why. Who do you think would be hurt if you were acting in your own best interest? 3) In those areas that involves others, make a written list of specific ways in which your life and theirs might be enhanced by choosing what's best for you. -------------------------------------------- So there you have Commanment #6. I know all too well like it is like stay in a realtionship because you think it is better for the kids or whatever the case may be. When I was married to my kids father I stayed with him because of my kids, because I loved his parents and didn't want to hurt them...I stayed for every reason except for my own happiness. I eventually did leave only after having a major depression and learning to love myself. Years later my kids said they had wished I had left before I did. They suffered just as much as I did...maybe more even. Never stay in any relationship for the sake of anyone because it is not good for you or them. The low self-esteem you have to begin with will only become lower. You are not doing yourself any good, or others if you don't even like yourself and the choices that you are making for your life. And if you have children, you are making those choices for them as well. Living in chaos is not healthy for all involved...pick yourself up and change your circumstances. Do not tell yourself you can not do it by yourself...you can do anything if you try. You can do it and you will be just fine! It may be hard at first, but with God and having faith all will turn out well. Marilyn L. Ali