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Hello My Friends,
I been asked by several people to do a topic on this area,It has come to many peoples attention that there are others here that are dealing with some of these issues.This is a very real and tragic issue.
Please be very sensitive in your responses
EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE
Q1: What is it?
Q2: How frequently does it occur?
Q3: What may I be experiencing?
Q4: What are some of the causes?
Q5: What can I expect?
Q6: How can I deal with this on my own?
Q7: How might I know I need help?
Q8: Where do I go for help?
Q9: What kinds of help are available?
Q10: How can I get more information?
Q1:
What is it?
A1:
Emotional or psychological abuse involves any behaviour, verbal or non-verbal, that negatively impacts another person's emotional or psychological well-being. [back to top]
Q2:
How frequently does it occur?
A2:
Emotional/psychological abuse occurs in various relationships such as between spouses, intimate partners, parents and children, siblings, and toward the elderly or, in general, where a power difference exists.
Q3:
What may I be experiencing?
A3:
You may find that the person who is abusing you:
Frequently ignores your feelings.
Ridicules or insults your most valued beliefs, gender, sexuality, ability, age or sexual orientation.
Ridicules or insults your religion, race, heritage, class or language.
Withholds approval, appreciation, and affection.
Continually criticizes you, calls you names, shouts at you.
Humiliates you in private or in public.
Refuses to socialize with you.
Keeps you from working, controls the money, makes all decisions.
Tries to prevent you from seeing your friends and family.
Regularly threatens to leave you or tells you to leave.
Manipulates you with lies and contradictions.
Behaves in a threatening way.
Uses intimidating facial expressions and/or body posture.
Accuses you of being unfaithful.
Uses sexualized language.
Verbally abuses the children and pets in your household. [back to top]
You may, in turn, feel:
Worthless.
Dependent on the abuser.
Confused.
Sad.
Angry.
Isolated.
A loss of control over your life.
Q4:
What are some of the causes?
A4:
A person may abuse another person in order to assert control. They themselves may be feeling angry and powerless. Their anger may then be directed at someone close to and less threatening to them, such as family members. Although perpetrators were often emotionally abused as children, not all emotionally abused children become abusers. Emotional abuse may also be the by-product of traditional male-female roles, where women are viewed as 'property' and are to obey first their parents and later their partners. It should be noted that if physical or sexual abuse is also occurring, then emotional abuse is inextricably involved as well. In Canada, emotional/psychological abuse can be considered a crime of violence.
Q5:
What can I expect?
A5:
Emotional/psychological abuse tends to persist and it is often difficult for the person being abused to recognize it and believe it is happening.
Q6:
How can I deal with this on my own?
A6:
If you feel unsure of whether you are being abused, confide in friends or relatives whom you find emotionally supportive and whose opinion you trust.
Remember that since you likely feel dependent on the abuser, you may distrust the people who are trying to be helpful.
Remind yourself that you have the right to a life free of abuse.
Start giving yourself positive, empowering messages such as, "I'm a good person and I deserve to be treated as such."
Engage in simple activities that you enjoy doing and that boost your confidence.
Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who was in a similar situation.
If you are dependent on the other person's income, try getting a job of your own. You might even want to have a separate bank account and save up some money, in case the abuse escalates.
Always have phone numbers available and a little extra money in case you must leave abruptly. [back to top]
Q7:
How might I know I need help?
A7:
You may need help if:
You doubt your judgement or wonder if you're 'crazy'.
You are afraid of your partner and express opinions less and less freely.
You have fears of other people and tend to see others less often.
You spend a lot of time watching your partner's bad and not-so-bad moods before bringing up a subject.
You have to be careful around others such that your are hypervigilant in their presence.
You ask your partner's permission to spend money, take classes or socialize with friends.
You have lost confidence in your abilities, become increasingly depressed and feel trapped and powerless.
You find your child is being negatively impacted by the abuse. For example, he or she is overly withdrawn, aggressive, has nightmares or is doing poorly in school.
Many Blessings to you all,Kathy Martin
Some from American Journal
Some By Kathy Martin
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