Today was my bday, I don't usually celebrate birthdays, numerous reasons...my midsummer birthday parties were usually crashed by my arch-enemy, the watermelon. The only time I enjoyed eating watermelon was at my Godmother's house because she gave all us kids our own little knives, my mom didn't like that very much, too bad! What's with watermelon anyway? It's like eating styrofoam with seeds and a running leakage down our arms. The only fun part is spitting seeds. Ptooey!!!
I had 3 older sisters who's birthdays are on December 30th and January 1st, two of them were twins...my mom always gave them a combined birthday for all 3 of them. My brothers birthdays are on October 7th and 8th, I'm not joking...another combined party! I'm the only one who has a birthday all to myself, but unfortunately my sisters always ran the show. They were almost like having 3 extra mothers, only younger and everywhere all the time, and they were almost the same age, the twins were 1 year older than the other one, and they were all an average of 6 years older than me. Not good odds for me getting much done my way.
STORIES OF ADULTHOOD...LOL...
A few years ago I decided to start bike-riding again, after I hadn't been on a bike for over 20 years. So then I bought a padded gel-seat
for the bike...and I was riding thru the park and I said out loud
"This seat STILL hurts my butt!" I thought I was alone but then an
old man roller-skated past me, laughing his a$$ off.
Once we went to a restaurant and I ordered pasta with mussels,
they were on top of the pasta with the shells open for decoration,
and I wanted to take the shells home for my turtle tank, so I put
them in my purse. Then the waitress came back to take our empty
plates and she gave me a very strange look, as if she thought I
had eaten the shells. It was really funny!
Then there was the time a few years ago when our neighbor's dog
escaped from his yard, (not a mean one) and we couldn't figure
out how, because the gate was shut. Then he went to a small opening under the fence and looked under, as if to show us that's where he came from. This is a big dog and he got out of an 8-inch high opening by about 16 inches wide, I don't know in centimeters! So he wouldn't go under the way he came out, so Jayson and Dennis and I squashed him down and gave him a shove partway under the fence and he had no choice but to keep going until he was all the way into his own yard again. Then we blocked up the hole with bricks, and told the neighbors later when they got home. They didn't believe it, but it happened!
OH! The other neighbor..with the mean dogs...Dennis accidentally broke
her garage window and so I asked her "Do you want us to pay for it before you move away?" LOL!! She said she wasn't moving anytime soon,
she likes it here. Do you think I was more obvious than a freight train
about trying to find out how long we have to put up with her vicious beasts? Haha. She said we didnt have to pay for the window. Her dog
Shadow barks at us when we're inside our house, if he sees us thru the
window, or if we turn on a light to go pee at night (in our own house, in our own bathroom!) he gets crazy!
...Same dog...SHADOW, she trains him to hate men, but he only barks a
little bit at me, so when I go outside I always pretend to throw my
car keys at him, and once set off my car alarm! DUH!! Someday I'll
probably lose grip on the keys and they'll go over the fence right
into his mouth. That would be funny if HE set off the car alarm
while eating the keys, ha.
I recently bought some rose-scented lotion and put it on my elbows and knees before bedtime, and it smells exactly like real roses. Woke up the next morning morning with several itchy bug bites where I had the lotion on. Darn mosquitos thought I was a real rose when i was asleep! They only bit my elbows and knees several times, I can't believe it! I had several red itchy welts. Must send the rose lotion to my worst enemy, or maybe my most overbearing sister, she always yelled at me for getting into her stuff, maybe I'll pay her back with too-realistic rose lotion.
I HAD MY STRAWBERRY CAKE ON SUNDAY, actually just one-fourth of the cake, there are 3 other people here...and saw Harry Potter part 6 at the movies, so I almost forgot today was my bday...actually did forget until my parents called me, and my husband said "Your Dad's on the phone" and I said "WHY? Did someone DIE?" LOL. Nobody died. Then my brother called, same name as my dad, I saw it on Caller ID, and said to myself, Dad again, WHY? But it was big brother of bday on Oct 8th...ha. Then one of my sisters called when I was starting this thread, the 2nd most overbearing sister who recently moved to North Dakota, thank goodness or she would have been here with a cake of my face done on the frosting. HAPPY BDAY TO ME: I gotta say it, why would I celebrate being 44? I stopped having bday parties when I was 30, that was 2 years before my profile picture in which I look 12. Here's me yesterday, now I look a little older than 12. Thanks for visiting my hidden bday thread in the pile of TUEZ NEWZ!!
