Hello Friends,
Here are a few chuckles to start the weekend off. Hope you enjoy them.
Shalom,
Peter
The Weenie Test
Three third graders from Tennessee , an Irish kid, an Italian kid and a Black kid are on the playground at recess. The Irish kid suggests that they play a new game. 'Let's see who has the largest weenie.' They all agree.
The Irish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. 'That's nothing,' says the Italian kid. He whips his out and proudly shows that his is at least an inch longer. Not to be out done, the Black kid whips his out. It is by far not only the biggest, but the fattest.
That night, eating dinner at home, the Black kid's mother asks him what he did at school today. 'Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book and then during recess my friends and I played a new game called 'Let's see who has the largest weenie..' 'What kind of game is that, honey?' asks the mother. 'Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say it's because I'm Black. Is that true?' 'No, Leroy. It's because you're eighteen and still in the third grade.'
Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news...the horse died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"
Chuck said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."
Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He's the one who figured out how this "bail-out" is going to work.