This is a poem that I dedicated to survivors of breast cancer.
I believe this to be inspired as it came to me just like this, early one morning.
My hope, like a garden, grew.
(C) Roger Macdivitt 2009
My hope, like a garden, grew
Unexpected , but real.
When at first, the news, like torrential rain, arrived
There was nothing to be done.
Everything in my garden was beyond help
To have attempted rescue would have been merely to slip and fall.
Those things that I had nurtured were now almost worthless,
Beyond help, beyond reach, withering before my very eyes.
But it’s only rain, it will pass, the sun will shine again.
I looked and saw nothing but dark forbidding clouds.
It was the not knowing, it had come from nowhere
I could see no end.
The end didn’t come for a very long time, or so it seemed.
Friends reassured, family promised, the community prayed.
But I, still deep in some dark corner peered out upon the desolation.
I could not imagine why,
Something that yesterday was just part of me is now a threat.
A threat that promised not just to spoil many seasons of work
But that now was like judgement itself.
These things were sometimes a secret, sometimes a pride
On occasions an embarrassment, but always just there.,
Something, that like Topsy, just grew.
That was a long yesterday ago.
That was before the professional gave me hope.
He told me that because I had been diligent, or even lucky
My chances of bringing about some sort of recovery was good.
The sun came out a little that day.
I saw other gardeners who had suffered the same fate.
They told me, the sun came out for them more and more,
That spring would arrive and, although there would be days when
I would be carting dung or digging impossible clays
One day my garden would be full of colour again.
I knew that some had failed miserably.
Some had tried with all they knew, some with help, some alone.
No guarantees but every glimpse of sun had to be seized upon
Like a healthy, bright and warming promise it had come
For me no separation, no mourning what once was.
I knew that for some it was worse
But then, these things aren’t more important than life itself.
Not worth losing everything for.
My fear that those nearest would be repelled, or lose interest was unfounded.
More the opposite, a support and interest I didn’t expect.
It seems strange, but,
Although the fear that those torrents of hell would re-surface, it’s now different.
For me my garden is brighter for I look at every detail every day.
One day when I’m old I may have to face not being able to tend nature.
But I know now, that while the sun shines for me, I can once again
Welcome nurturing rain knowing that I can in turn teach others.
They need to know my secrets now.
That, if the rains come for them I have the knowledge.
I have the strength that I never knew.
There is no garden too big or too tangled that can’t be tamed.
Not everyone can be a gardener.
There will be those sent trials, maybe in sport or in business.
They may have to suffer the same dark days that I did
But locked in a gym or an office or just in their home.
But now I am like an odd-job person.
I can shine my light into their darkest corners.
You see, I’ve been there.
And now I’m still here.
Mine was just one small story about a part of me.
Maybe your part or your story will differ.
There is a life beyond deep dark days and I want you to join me there.
There’s sun, and flowers and apples beautiful peaches
Where once there was just rotten fruit.
Now my diet is full and healthy,
I’m just a little more careful what I nurture.
I take care to ensure that my friends too take time
Time to check their precious God given fruit
And to take their findings to their professional helper.
God Bless you in your journey.