Hello again Nick!
I like this because I do know that these numbers work. The last line strikes me that says, "feed your faith and doubt will starve." Faith will also come into being so that it can grow, merely by the entrance of the words found behind these numbers, into our heart. I told this testimony once before but it's worth telling again, and also, the older we get it seems the more we like to tell things a hundred times over!
A girl I went to Nursing school with 13 years ago, who was always a hilarious person to me (I Love funny people!), came to work at my place of employment awhile back. I was upset about something one day (which is rare), and I think from my actions/words that day she may have gotten a perseption of me that she took as arrogance maybe, which isn't me at all. It's the only cause I can think of for her sudden displays of outright hatred toward me. She was making awful comments (stabs) at me, and made 3 distinct attempts to get me fired, and I caught one of them as a blantant lie she told to management. To add fuel to the fire, when on a rare occassion she rather pleasantly asked me why I hadn't gone back for my RN (she had a few years back and I'm still LPN), I gave into the temptation and told her I was working on a Bachelor's degree right now (in another field). and yes, this did add fuel, and it was after this that she attempted to hang me.
I remember standing there on the job on a certain day at a certain time, thinking with God, who I know knows my thoughts. I was saying with my thoughts, Ok, I have 2 choices; I can either put forth the effort to fight this battle, and I have no desire to take the energy and effort to play this game or try to stay on guard for it, or I can surrender my pride and "choose" to see her through God's eyes of mercy and love. I figured I stood more chance of losing at the time since RN's are harder to get in Nursing Homes' and are more sought after, even though I'd been there much longer than her and also worked there in the past. But also, I could sense that this was a test to me and an opportunity (again) to walk through a trial of faith (I've had many). I "chose" right there and then to surrender and find love in my heart for this girl.
And I did find it, or, God did easily give it to me, as he will he says, "Ask and you shall receive," and I did ask. Even when I was off guard, all my responses to her, when I ran into her, came out automatically with humble kindness and respect; I was even surprised a few times that they did with no premeditation from me. It wasn't even a week until she abruptly and completely changed her manner toward me. I was shocked! yet I wasn't, because I've seen God and his Word work many times in my life and toward me. Since that change, this girl speaks to me always with a quiet compassion, with respect, and when she's throwing papers at me (work to do), she always says, "When you get time...". She even throws me hints if she sees some little error I make so I can clean it up before anything comes of it.
It was too vivid and obvious and there was no other explanation for this abrupt change except for what I believed God would do in the beginning, when I prayed as David, "Lord, make my enemies to be at peace with me." David also prayed in a place, "Lord prepare me a table in the presence of my enemies," but I hesitate to ask for that because it is not God's heart to want to take vengence, and it's not his heart that we should have that heart.
But after some time, one day, I saw her sobbing, and heard her being called to an office over the intercom, and heard she got in big trouble for something, and did leave that day after, and I didn't know if she had gotten fired, but she hadn't. I prayed for her that day, that things would be well for her.
Alright! It took me awhile to write that; I didn't intend it to be so long, but it's what it took to tell it. I used to have a different heart before I allowed God into my heart and life when he made his reality known to me many years ago at age 19. At that time an aimless pot head, depressed, newly married, and unahppy. We flushed the pot and that was the end of that. Not long after me and hubby were at the Lake on Saturday nights praying with drinking teenagers. Today after many great pains and trials, working toward Marriage & Family Counceling, and forever seeing God's hand in my life and family.
God Loves you and all of us, Kim