I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:  There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics.  This nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a nuclear ally.  Then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us.  While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him.  He also thin ks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel .  Did all of you sleep through high school?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy.  Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off.  We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do.  We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time.  The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive.  In fact, they want to die.  That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you dumbasses with them as they can.  But they are.  They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11.  But you're not.  That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.  When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight.  I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient.  You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do.  You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist.  It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth.  It's all over the Internet.  It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News.  But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter.  Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from.  But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient hou se down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years.  No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again.  Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too.  That means Pelosi is your new President.  You asked for it.  Watch what she does careful ly, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2012.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America .

Some of you know what I mean.  The rest of you, can kiss my ass.

PS - You just might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.