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WASHINGTON AT WORK
A Washington , DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country
is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and
then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts. Without
trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did.
I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting
an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in
the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state!'
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, Is it possible to see England
from Canada ?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'But they look so close on the map.'
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in
Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover
in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, 'I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save
time.'
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible
that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I
explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No, why do
you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a
tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's
very rude. After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it
(I was laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is
(FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination
tag on her luggage. oh that is priceless!!
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going
over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to fly to California ,
and then take the train to Hawaii ?'
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, 'How do I know
which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on
them.'
10. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I
have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant fly
to Pensacola , Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!'
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in
order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded
him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times
and never had to have one of those.' I double checked and sure enough, he
required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China
four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!'
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, 'I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York .' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are
you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied
the lady. After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry ma'am, I've looked
up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'
The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your
map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?' The reply? Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.' Now
you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in.
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