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Thomas Richmond

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Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
9/12/2008 9:50:29 PM
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
 
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Yvette Lemon Tolliver

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Re: Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
9/13/2008 12:19:55 AM

Hi Thomas,

I'm not a coffee drinker but I can relate. At one time in my life I worked two full time jobs and fell back on coffee to keep me going. Long story short, I was a jittery mess in the end. I do not drink coffee to this day... not for the purpose anyway. I enjoy green tea (iced) now.

Anyway, I do know die hard coffee drinkers and I am amused with your thread.

Yvette

 

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John Partington

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Re: Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
9/13/2008 8:40:03 AM

Hi Thomas,

I can relate to most of the reasons except the energetic ones!

I just love coffee.

Best Wishes

John.

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Thomas Richmond

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Re: Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
9/13/2008 1:28:21 PM
Thanks John for the feedback, yeah pretty funny. Yvette im glad i amused you. God_bless you both! :)
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Jen
Jen Maxwell

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Re: Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
9/13/2008 3:03:58 PM

LOL, Thomas,

This sounds like my hubby 3 years ago! 

Or me when my boys were tiny and I couldn't get enough
sleep!

Have a beautiful Saturday,

Jen

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