Computer problems? I'm here to help..

Ya gotta read this out loud...

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port and the bus is interrupted at the very last resort and the access of the memory makes the floppy disc abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report

If your curser finds a menu item followed by a dash and the double-clicking icon puts the window in the trash and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash then your situations hopeless and your systems gonna crash

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, cuz sure as I'm a poet the sucker's gonna hang

When the copy on the floppy's getting sloppy in the disk and the macro code instruction is causing unnecessary risk then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM the ROM and quickly turn the computer off and be sure to tell your Mom!

   PHEEEWW...

Hi John,

I hear you my Friend.  I think we've all had days like this...

That's the time to sit back, relax, and remember that there are certain guidelines which apply to all Computers...

Murphy's Laws

As They Apply To Computers

As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.

Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one.

You can't win them all, but you sure can lose them all.

The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.

There are only two kinds of computer users: Those whose hard disks have crashed, and those whose hard disks haven't crashed - yet.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it. If you fiddle with something long enough, you'll break it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human; in fact it is downright natural.

He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer.

A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

When the going gets tough, upgrade.

When you need to send an email quick, that's when the modem won't connect!

Have A Happy Day,

Phil

My Cat Crashing On My Computer

Hi John,

Haven't read this for a long time and really enjoyed it
all over again like it was new!  Thank you.

Have a great day,

Jen

Hi Jen

I only heard it the other day but could have deleted it as spam before, you know what it's like.

I sincerely hope you and your man have a great life now and in the future.