Girlie
Wisdom!
Women over 50 don't have
babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
A friend of mine
confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't
really care.
One of life's
mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only
wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to
forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about
living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone
else does.
The older you get,
the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are
really good friends.
Just when I was
getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I
understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging
for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my
knickers.
Amazing! You
hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
Skinny people
irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I
forget to eat!'......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and
my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind
of stupid to forget to eat!
The trouble with
some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article
that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying,
and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect
day!
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