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What Damage Has Fibromyalgia Done To Our Friendships
3/10/2008 11:20:25 PM

There is an old saying you will know who your friends are when you are ill.I do think that may be true for some of her friends.My wife has had Fibromyalgia for 12 years now and as the primary caregiver, I don't see much help.

But for those who are lucky enough to have friend here is some advice. Don't be afraid to talk to her and ask questions. She needs to talk about this invisible chronic illness and how it has affected her life. You need to validate her feelings of sadness, anger, loss, and hope. It would be great for you to be there for the doctor appointment's, errands, etc. It will help relieve the significant other and give her some company. The simple things you can do is educate yourself about the illness. Be patient and sincere in your caring. Spend time together.Ask her what she wants to do today. If you make plans in advance be flexible allowing for flareups. Do low energy activities, like sitting outdoors, watching movies or bringing in a meal. Don't give advice of how to"fix them".

Don't give up on us. We have good days and bad days but our bad days last 4-5 days. Our mood swings need your gracious understanding as a true friend. Be perceptive, look for the signs of fatigue from either the significant other or the Fibro person. Just being there and taking the time to show up means you care. My wife loves your time here, so I can get away from the illness that has taken a strangle hold on my life as well.

So to those few friends and family who continue to "hang in there" remember love comes in many ways even with Fibro.

For me FM stands for my favorite man she told me. Yes she dreams of the days when she didn't have fibro.She also says she dreams of the days when she was young and thin so stop looking in the rear view mirror, continue to look ahead.You are what you are, a beautiful vibrant women who has found that special man in the world. Who took his vows seriously. How would you react to Fibro? Would you "hang in there" for 12 years of care giving? Would your marriage hold up?

Frank Eckert

Thank you for reading my articles.




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