Menu



error This forum is not active, and new posts may not be made in it.
Promote
Mary Hannan

998
6209 Posts
6209
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
The Modern Toolbox
1/16/2008 6:18:31 PM

Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.

Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.

Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers - Contains a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light - A worklight that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.

Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing the power of your mother-in-laws nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.

Chainsaw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.

Happy Hump Day!
Mary

+0
Bj
Bj Burgess

1289
4768 Posts
4768
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 50 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: The Modern Toolbox
1/16/2008 6:45:34 PM

Hey Mary

I always knew these tools were good for something.  Just never knew what for.

LOL

These are funny, Thanks

Bj

 

+0
Mary Hannan

998
6209 Posts
6209
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: The Modern Toolbox
1/16/2008 6:57:52 PM

Hey Bj,
Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

 

+0
Thomas Richmond

1637
15469 Posts
15469
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: The Modern Toolbox
1/16/2008 7:19:53 PM
Now your cooking sister Mary :) Thanks for the funny!
AT YOUR SERVICE. Drop A Line With The Pros!! http://www.goneclicking.com/?rid=7178 http://www.protrafficshop.com/?rid=5719 Chief Administrator & Support
+0
Nick Sym

4679
23156 Posts
23156
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: The Modern Toolbox
1/16/2008 9:32:06 PM
Breast Cancer Awareness On My Site! http://www.freewebs.com/nicksym Free exposure that works http://www.webbizinsider.com/Home.asp?RID=55242
+0


facebook
Like us on Facebook!