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Venerina Conti

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Self Sabotage
12/13/2007 7:49:10 AM
Dear friends

Thank you for your kind private messages.  I am finally back home in Madeira ... defrosting from the temperature in the UK.

Don't forget today's show at 3pm ....

On Thursday 6th December, Host Coach Steve Toth and myself Co-Host Dr Venerina Conti, of the Mind, Body and Soul show on the Real Coaching Radio Network, discussed the topic of self sabotage.


What is self sabotage?  How does it hold us back? How does it make us our own worst enemy?


Self sabotage happens when we impede ourselves from doing something that we would like to do, or ought to be doing, by letting everything around us get in the way.  For example, if we dream of becoming a great painter, so we could establish ourselves in the Artists’ world and maybe have our own exhibitions, painting something every day would help us to improve our skills. 


However, if we allowed everything else to get in the way like: being too tired, not having enough time or whatever excuse we choose to use, then we are acting in a way that sabotages our hopes, wishes and dreams, which eventually we will give up on.   We have nobody to blame but ourselves.  Time does not just occur.  Time needs to be created.


We have willingly diverted our attention and focus away from what is important to us.  We have made up excuses and found every reason not to be doing what we would like to be doing.  But are there underlying reasons for this behaviour?  Does self-sabotage go deeper than we imagine?  Where exactly is it rooted?


Self-sabotage starts with internal dialogues.  Think about this. We are the one person we talk to all day long, ever day, and we are the one and only person we will know all our lives, so why then do we choose to talk to ourselves in such a negative way?  Why do we convince ourselves that we are not good enough?  Why do we talk ourselves into states of insecurity and destroy our own self-confidence. 


If your best friend came to you and asked for your advice, you would show them support and offer them encouragement.  So why is it so hard to be your own best friend?  Are you not the most important person in your life?  If you are not, then you should be because if you are not feeling well and are not capable of taking good care of yourself, then how can you possibly make others feel good or even look after them?


So, how do you talk to yourself all day long?  Think about what words you choose to use in your internal dialogues?  How do you transmit your being to the world around you?  


Rather than focusing on the negative, think about all the good qualities you have.  Feel grateful for all the good things you have achieved.  Doing a little is better than doing nothing.  If you doing something then you can never fail.  Be realistic when you set yourself goals.  Take one step at a time and do not expect to conquer Rome in one day.  Disappointment and self sabotage also come from expecting too much of one’s self. 


Keep a journal, (for your eyes only), where you can write everything down.  Show gratitude for what you have.  Clearly express in writing what you would like to have and achieve.


Learn to appreciate yourself.  How? … Listen in to the exercise Coach Steve Toth and Drª Venerina Conti did, live on air.  It takes one minute to change how you feel about yourself and who you will become in the future.  Tune into the Mind, Body and Soul Show every Thursday at 8am MST, 3pm GMT. 

Mary Hofstetter

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Re: Self Sabotage
12/13/2007 8:03:29 AM

Venerina,  What an awesome topic.  I am guilty of self     sabotage, finding  always excuses as to why I can't succeed.          I give up easy.

With the motivation of helping others, I can then proceed.  I do not allow myself to gain but find great joy in reaching out to others and watching them gain.  I so wish I could love myself more and allow freedom to rise to the occasion without feeling guilty that I am seeking something for myself.

It all comes from a religous teaching where Jesus says "The      first shall be last and the last shall be first" and the teaching to be humble.  The  word humble  is so misunderstand.  For some it means to keep quiet,   we should speak out boldly.  It means not to boast about oneself, we should live such a life that it shows without even speaking about ourselves. I have to work on these attributes daily.  So I like to use the phrase "I'm humble and proud of it" ! !   LOL


Larry Blethen

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Re: Self Sabotage
12/13/2007 8:45:06 AM

hello have some very good  points...I am sure that this happens very often with our self...thank you for bring this to us...

Happy Holidays...Larry

Larry Blethen, 304-369-5603
Thomas Richmond

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Re: Self Sabotage
12/13/2007 12:57:35 PM
Welcome home V. Vacation time is always a blessing from the online market. Happy Holidays dear friend. Love ya. Thomas.
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Nan Herring

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Re: Self Sabotage
12/13/2007 1:26:30 PM
Lots of people have this problem and don't realize it. That program was awesome. Everyone should go listen to it. The shows are all in the list on the widget on the site. I urge everyone to go listen and improve your life.

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