I am Italian and I think this is a good one. Hope you do too.
> Italians have a
$40,000. kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in
> the basement to
cook.
>
>
> There is some sort of religious statue in the
hallway, living room,
> front, porch and backyard; the living room is
filled with old
> Bombonieri (they are too pretty to open) with poofy net
bows and stale
> almonds; a portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the
dining room.
>
>
>
>
> God forbid if anyone EVER
attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco
> American, Ragu, Prego or
anything else in a jar or can. (Tomato paste
> is the
exception.)
>
>
>
>
> The following are Italian
Holidays:
>
>
>
> * First weekend in October - Grapes
for the Wine
>
>
>
> * 3rd weekend in August - Tomatoes
for the Gravy (Speaking of which,
> it's GRAVY and not
Sauce.)
>
>
>
>
> Meatballs are made with Pork,
Veal and Beef. We are Italians, we don't
> care about
cholesterol.
>
>
>
>
> Turkey is served on
Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi,
lasagna.
>
>
>
> If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em
in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.
>
>
>
>
> If they
ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there
> is no
wedding nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny
> meatballs
must be made by hand.
>
>
>
>
> No matter how hard
you know you were going to get smacked, you still
> came home from church
after communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread
> in the gravy pot, snuck
out a fried meatball and chowed down you'll
> make up for it next week at
confession.
>
>
>
>
> Sunday dinner was at
1:00.
>
>
>
> The meal went like
this...
>
>
>
> Table is set with everyday
dishes...doesn't matter if they don't
> match...they're clean, What more
do you want? All the utensils go on
> the right side of the plate and the
napkin goes on the left.
>
>
>
> Put a clean kitchen
towel at Nonno &Papa's plate because they won't
> use
napkins.
>
>
>
> Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on
the table.
>
>
>
> First course, Antipasto..change
plates.
>
>
>
> Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all pasta
Macaroni)...change plates.
>
>
>
> After that, Roasted
Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Overcooked
> vegetables...change plates. THEN and
only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING
> OF THE MEAL) would you eat the salad
(HOMEMADE OIL &VINEGAR DRESSING
> ONLY)...change plates.
Next,
>
>
>
> Fruit &Nuts - in the shell (on paper
plates because you ran out of the
> other ones). Coffee (Espresso for
Nonno, "Merican" coffee for the
> rest) with Anisette (Hard Cookies to dip
in the coffee).
>
>
>
>
> The kids go play...the
men go to lay down. They slept so soundly you
> could perform brain
surgery on them without anesthesia... the women
> clean the
kitchen.
>
>
>
> Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna -
half the sentence was English,
> the other half
Italian.
>
>
>
>
> Italian mothers never threw a
baseball in their life, but can nail you
> in the head with a shoe thrown
from the kitchen while you're in the
> living
room.
>
>
>
> Prom Dress that Zia Ceserina made
you...$20.00 for material. Prom
> hair-do from Cousin Angela...$Free.
Turning around at prom to see your
> entire family (including Godparents)
standing in the back of the
>
gym...PRICELESS!
>
>
>
>
> The true Italians will
love this, those of you who are married to
> Italians will understand
this, and those of you who are friends with
> Italians will remember and
will forward it to their Italian friends
>
>
>