So it's 3:30 Friday Afternoon and rather quiet on the Support Front so I have decided to start a Watercooler Debate on a fictional dilemma because well, I quit smoking 10 weeks ago and my mind needs other things to focus on. In any event, today's fictional dilemma casts us into the role of Ned's friends. Ned is our ficitional character who I'm sure we can all relate to for nearly everyone has a friend like Ned. Ned is an optimist and opportunist. Everything he involves himself in is going to revolutionize the as we know it. We all have friends like this who love the concept of jumping on the "next best thing" and want to share this with only us because we're his close personal friends. Now, being a little more conservative as I know we are, we're always a little skeptical of Ned for two good reasons: 1) The first couple of things we joined through Ned bombed but we did this out of courtesy because Ned is a good friend and quite frankly we probably didn't know any better at the time. 2) We see Ned always joining new programs every 6 months trying to get us to sign up because it's making him lots and lots of money (But when it's time to divvy the bill at Denny's, Ned's ALWAYS just a little shy...hmm...) So herein lies the problem. As a group of Ned's closest friends despite the fact that we love him to death, we're now fed up with this behavior and we feel that something must change. The questions I have are these: 1) Do we tell Ned how we feel? 2) How do we bring this up if the answer to #1 is Yes? 3) Should we be forceful and say "Enough is enough" and do the "Tough Love" thing or should we be more considerate and try a more "Gentle" approach? 4) If we decide NOT to tell Ned, how do we avoid the problems we're currently having? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....GO! *gunshot sound* Michael

Hi Michael; Gee, I didn't get a notice (by email) about this post or I would have killed the afternoon with you. lol. I love this topic. BTW -- congrats on quitting the habit. Onto Ned. I know lots of Neds. I even have a sister that's a Ned and she's married to another Ned. Heh, heh. My thought... the gentle approach doesn't work. Tough love is needed. A guy I know was a "Ned." His wife cured him with tough love. He'd bought a little wig shop for a song because it was going under... but it wasn't doing well and they were struggling. One day he came home with yet another "great opportunity" that he could hardly wait to tell her about. She said "Ned, why don't you just stop it already and learn how to sell your wigs? Every idea you think of flops and there's always another idea. I'm tired of it. Why don't you just learn to sell what you have already?" His ego was hugely bruised and he decided to become the best darn wig shop around. And did. lol Later, he thanked her. : ) Linda P.S. I have actually said to people "Thank you for the idea, but when it comes to my income and business, I prefer to take advice from people that are more successful than me, not people that have not yet achieved results. When you see the results you're talking about, I'd be happy to have a look." Ouch. Tough love... but it sure reduced the "biz opp" offers... heh

Okay I know a few people might not agree with my points on this but here goes. From my perspective I don't think we would be worrying about telling Ned very much. This is based upon the couple of things we joined that bombed and the fact that we have seen Ned set a patteren of being pretty much an AssHat for always joining stupid money losing schemes. I can't beleive we signed up after the first one. I think Ned would have been gone long ago. Ned might be a friend but there are friends and there are business associates, Ned would have helped us to file him under the friend catagory, as we really don't want to consider him as a business associate, he seems to have no real business sense. I suppose what I am trying to say is that for me I would have established a while ago that Ned and his business ideas are not something I would still be entertaining. Tough Love, "Ned you are a AssHat and I love being your friend but when it comes to business ventures, please keep them to yourself."

============================== Ned might be a friend but there are friends and there are business associates, Ned would have helped us to file him under the friend catagory, as we really don't want to consider him as a business associate, he seems to have no real business sense. ============================== Heh, heh.... lol... har, har, har. Sorry - this strikes me as funny. This is a difference that many people don't grasp online. People seem to think they should join what their *friends* join and take advice from their *friends.* Wrong. El-mistake-o. We should take advice from people that already have succeeded at what we are striving to do. If I want advice on publishing a best selling book, should I ask Stephen King... or my forum or beer buddy? Duh. Hardly seems to require brain cells, yet many get this bass ackwards. People who give me business advice are business associates. People I give advice to are business associates. People who I laugh and joke with are friends. Sometimes they are the same. But not always. The two are not synonamous. Not by a LONG shot. Heh, heh.... lol... har, har, har. (slinks back to editing book) : ) L

Hi Michael, I have a slightly different take on this. I think we need to encourage people to take on new ventures. Sure, some people have a woeful track record and have bombed out many times. But the point is this - they are STILL trying! Sooner, or later (LOL) they might just hit paydirt. Remember Thomas Edison? Without him we would all be still in the dark. Supposedly, it took him 10,000 attempts to make a working light globe model. What if he gave up? The point is - you can be supportive of people without actually joining their venture. I prefer to say something like "I wish you well but at this stage what you are doing just doesn't fit in with what I am doing." Having said all that... If it's an MLM then I really start to get worried for them. Anything else I rate an even chance so long as it is honest, moral, ethical etc I'm OK with it. This is an interesting post. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us Michael. Gary