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Dave Cottrell

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Let's Build a Pipeline!! (SATIRE)
12/4/2012 12:23:56 AM

Controversy has raged across North America for the last few years, throughout both Canada and the United States, over proposed pipelines that would move bitumen from the Alberta, Canada "Tar Sands" to oil refineries on the Gulf of Mexico and/or in Asia.


After much loud protest, with an election on the horizon in the US, President Obama put at least a temporary halt to the line going to the Gulf of Mexico.


Up went the heat on the government of Canada to grant approval for a pipeline from Alberta to Asia....


Hmmmm.... Do I see a couple of minor problems with that idea?


How about.... two mountain ranges? Ah... no problem! Dig her deep and forget about it.... yeah, ok....


How about... lakes, streams, rivers, grasslands, forest lands and let's not forget to add in deep frost and earthquakes... NO problem. They figured out how to deal with that stuff a LOOOOOONG time ago... right?


Um... this IS Enbridge we're talking about, right?


Well, they'll clean up their act for this one. Where's the trust? Hey, where's the love? Can't you just picture how cozy a nice pile of money is to cuddle up to?


Uh... where were we...? Oh, yeah.... streams, rivers... RIVERS!! The Skeena River! Run her right along the river for a couple of hundred miles... maybe even put it UNDER the river for a couple of hundred miles before we veer off for Kitimat... hmmmm.....


NOOOOO PROBLEM! And if it ruptures under the Skeena, there's enough volume to clean her right out in a hurry, right out to sea. The solution to pollution is dilution, right?


So... Kitimat. Yes, land of the deep snow. End of the Douglas Channel. Just look at the Enbridge maps on the model. Clear, straight, deep sailing, right out to Asia. Right?


Say, who put these pesky islands on this Google map of Douglas Channel? What are all these other pesky islands out in front of Douglas Channel? Is Google in cahoots with all those protesters trying to stop progress? The very nerve!


Say, let's get this pipeline built and start sailing the high seas from Kitimat to Asia! (Money, money, money... it's rich man's world...)


Nothing could possibly go wrong. We have the technology. Not even HUMAN ERROR can get in the way....


....and if you believe that, I have a nice,barely used ferry to sell you... uh... right at the bottom of Wright Sound in the inside passage... uh... same general area the tankers would travel...


But a tanker would NEVER hit a rock or an island, would it? I mean... that would be awful messy, wouldn't it?


But, hey, it's only water, right?


Hey, how about a little Abba? It's a rich man's world:


BTW, I consider myself to be pro-development, pro-business, and pro-resource exploitation, but NOT at the expense of ruining the ecology of watersheds or coastlines for years to come.


God bless,


Dave

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Dave Cottrell

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RE: Let's Build a Pipeline!! (SATIRE)
4/13/2013 2:59:33 AM
East, west, north and south... they won't give up. Now they're using Alberta crude to irrigate lawns in Arizona... but that would never happen with any of these NEW pipelines, right? nudge nudge wink wink...
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RE: Let's Build a Pipeline!! (SATIRE)
5/15/2013 10:21:07 PM
C'mon Dave! Quit holdin' back! Tell us how you REALLY feel!
David Weed President,
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Dave Cottrell

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RE: Let's Build a Pipeline!! (SATIRE)
5/31/2013 10:26:04 PM
Quote:
C'mon Dave! Quit holdin' back! Tell us how you REALLY feel!

Are my oil pipeline investments that obvious, David Weed?

lol
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