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Mahlon Grube

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OH YEAH!! I’m not sure how many can handle this one…
4/23/2010 8:09:59 AM

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.

His mother tells him to stop it as he is liable to break something, but the boy continues.

'JOHNNY!' mom screams, 'KNOCK IT OFF before you break something.

He stops & eventually mom leaves for a short trip to the store.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left the house.

He gives it one last flick & it lands in the toilet... where he leaves it.

Mom comes home and while she is putting away the grocery, she gets the urge... diarrhea run.

She barely makes it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she finishes, she looks down and can't believe what she sees.

She is not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet.... she calls her doctor.

The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, he assures her he will be right over.

When he arrives, she shows him to the bathroom.

He gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.

Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP!

The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere... on him, the walls, etc. "Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.

He states....."I have been in this business for over 30 years and this is the first time I have ever actually SEEN a fart!!!!"

YOU ARE LAUGHING AREN'T YOU....I KNOW YOU ARE!!!!!Session data
God Bless You, Mahlon Grube I help people in MLM Succeed. http://ultimatecycler.com/ref/Melsdreamteam http://www.BestJerkyEver.com
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Phillip Black

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RE: OH YEAH!! I’m not sure how many can handle this one…
4/23/2010 1:56:20 PM

Hi Mahlon,

NOW THAT"S FUNNY! Thanks for the Grins & Guffaws.

Here's a few you might not have heard...

What Kind Of Farter Are You?

  • Proud: You think your farts are exceptionally fine.

  • Shy: You release silent farts and then blush.

  • Impudent: You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.

  • Unfortunate: You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.

  • Scientific: You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.

  • Nervous: You stop in the middle of your fart.

  • Honest: You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.

  • Dishonest: You far and then blame the dog.

  • Foolish: You suppress your farts for hours.

  • Thrifty: You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.

  • Anti-Social: When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.

  • Strategic: You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.

  • Sadistic: You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.

  • Intellectual: You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.

__________

Dave Barry
Toilet Testers Always Strive to Come Out No. 2

__________

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little hole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell French toast!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell pancakes!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way.
So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is molasses."

__________

Did you hear about Robin Hood's house?
It has a little John.

__________

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart.

__________

Forrest Gump is wrong,
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates,
It's like a jar of jalapenos.
You never know when it's going to burn your tail.

__________

Have A Great Weekend,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Peter Fogel

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RE: OH YEAH!! I’m not sure how many can handle this one…
4/24/2010 6:41:25 AM
Hi Mahlon,
Here's one I posted in my Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of the Week thread. I'd love to see you join us there.
Shalom,
Peter

Quote:
Hi All,

This one is a combination of humor and the comments in the end are truths and unfortunately sad truths cos those "old farts" are a dieing breed in the O-Bow-ma regime.

Shalom,

Peter



I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it.

Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.

Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War , the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .

If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.

Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.

Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren.

It's the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politician's, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

We need them now more than ever.

Thank God for Old Farts!

Pass this on to all the Old Farts you know.

I was taught to respect my elders. It's just getting harder to find them
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Beth Schmillen

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RE: OH YEAH!! I’m not sure how many can handle this one…
7/3/2010 12:19:06 PM
Glitter Graphics | http://www.graphicsgrotto.com
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