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UPS HUMOR
Posted: Aug 24 2008 02:50 PM |
Remember
it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for
those of us who fly
routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form,
called a 'gripe sheet,'
which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on
the form, and then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next
flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a
sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints
submitted by UPS ' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded
(marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that
has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order..
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute
Descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume
unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one! )
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,
and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.. |
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 Nick Sym
![[Nick Sym's picture]](../../Controls/forums/skins/default/Skins/cachedimageservice.axd?data=a80b6f69-46b5-4889-8788-873838cb8f73)
Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Total Posts: 26489 | |
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Re: UPS HUMOR
Posted: Aug 24 2008 04:32 PM |
Hooo, hooo Linda!
This was so funny it should win a funny prize!
May we always appreciate the gift of laughing! |
Mattias Kroon
Affiliate
Creative Marketer
http://10dollarswonder.smartmailworld.com |
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