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 Sara Blow
![[Sara Blow's picture]](../../Controls/forums/skins/default/Skins/cachedimageservice.axd?data=f9e110d3-977e-489b-8e5c-6e9367c3c268)
Joined: 06 May 2006
Total Posts: 3780 |
Funnies for Thursday!
Posted: Jul 17 2008 11:24 AM |
No credit taken for any of these, they are received from family and friends. Just sharing and hope you need a laugh today.
BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a B londe were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn . She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!
Sunday Christian
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, 'I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' License plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper Sticker, And the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.
Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car."
Two Ways
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat
alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed. 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.
'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
So you see, there really are two ways to look at everything
This is what happens when your children take away your driver's license!
Hope you enjoyed and have a fun day!
Sara
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http://www.sagariexpressions.com
http://community.adlandpro.com/go/itsmesgb http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/19049/ShowForum.aspx
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Re: Funnies for Thursday!
Posted: Jul 17 2008 04:21 PM |
Hi Sara,
Thanks for the Laughs. 
Laughter always seem to make all things better and lift up your Spirits. As Quincy Jones once said,
I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth." ~Quincy Jones
Thanks for Brightening my Day & Lifting my Spirits.
Now to continue those Beautiful Smiles, just a couple more..
Don't Mess With Southerners
Two businessmen in New York city are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store isn't ready - only a few shelves are set up.
One says to the other, "I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Southerner walks to the window, has a peek, and in a Southern drawl asks, "What're y'all sellin' here?"
One of the men replies, "Oh! We're selling idiots here."
Without skipping a beat, the Southern gentleman says, "Well, I see y'all're doing really good. You only got two left."
Newlywed Repairs
A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Oh, just forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."
"Yes, I know. And it's lucky you have!" said the woman, drying her eyes. "I was able to use a piece from them to patch the hole!"
Blonde Dream
Once a blonde kept having the same weird dream every day, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: Really... What was the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hallway.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes, it did.
Doctor: And what did the letters spell?
Blonde: It said, "P-U-L-L."
Wishing You A Beautiful Weekend
Filled With Love & Laughter,
Phil
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QUALITY GIFTS THAT DON'T STRAIN YOUR BUDGET
http://papasplace.110mb.com
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Re: Funnies for Thursday!
Posted: Jul 17 2008 05:21 PM |
Hi Sara,
Thank you for the laugh.
I need it.
I am not sad, depressed or negative, JUST BUSY.
So a quick laugh and some thanks are in order. |
R. L. Macdivitt, Cert. Hypnotherapist and NLP Practioner.
Therapy needs? visit
http://www.beautiful-therapy.co.uk
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