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Mary Hannan

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Diary Of A Determened Snow Shoveler LOL!
3/17/2008 4:08:55 PM

December 8, 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours  by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It  looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love  snow!


December 19   
We woke to a beautiful blanket of  crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.What a  fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!  
Shoveled for the  first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and  the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such  a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-we'll definitely  have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob  says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to  see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such  a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last  night. The
temperature dropped to -20.  The cold makes  everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!  The snowplow  came back this afternoon and
buried everything again. I didn't realize  I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back  in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van  and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and  2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in  case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. 

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on  my *&% on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.  The wife laughed for an hour,  which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads  are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had  to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the  wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove,  but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't  believe I'm  freezing to death in my own livingroom.

December 20 
Electricity is back on, but had  another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took  all day. The damn snowplow came by twice.  Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.  
I think they're lying! Called the only hardware store around to see  about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment  in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city  will have it done  and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 
Bob was right about a white  Christmas because 13 more inches of the white s**t fell today, and it's so  cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all  dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to take a leak. By the time I got  undressed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried  to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but  he says he's too busy.
I think the *&%hole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And  it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the  house this morning. What is she, nuts?!!  
Why didn't she tell me  to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If  I ever catch the son of a @#$%& who drives that snow
plow, I'll drag  him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to  finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an  hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I  was too
busy  watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry Christmas! 20 more inches  of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my  blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by  asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife  says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.  

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did  I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.  

December 27 
Temperature dropped to -30 and  the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 
Warmed up to above -20. Still  snowed in.
The @#$%& is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I  ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?  

December 30 
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow  shovel up his *&%.
The wife went home to her  mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31  
I set fire to what's left of  the house.
No more  shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those  little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the  bed?

Jerilyn Merideth

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Re: Diary Of A Determened Snow Shoveler LOL!
3/17/2008 4:32:40 PM


Boy, did he have a rough winter! LOL

Thanks, Mary!

Take Care,



Jerilyn Merideth "Cutest Critter Photo Contest" now through April 30, 2011. "The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals" ~ Anonymous"
Len Berghoef

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Re: Diary Of A Determened Snow Shoveler LOL!
3/17/2008 4:35:50 PM
Hi Mary,

Thanks for sharing this funny Here in Michigan we live had about 100" this winter. So can definitely relate. :)


Start a 2nd income and get out of debt!
Mary Hannan

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Re: Diary Of A Determened Snow Shoveler LOL!
3/17/2008 4:57:43 PM

Dear Jerilyn,
I couldn't resist passing this one along! I laugh thinking about it.

Mary Hannan

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Re: Diary Of A Determened Snow Shoveler LOL!
3/17/2008 5:01:01 PM

Hello Len,
OMG, 100 inches! You poor dear. I don't envy you!



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