error This forum is not active, and new posts may not be made in it.
Sexuality with Fibromyalgia
3/11/2008 4:45:20 PM

I wanted to name this article how to keep your significant other around while you have Fibromyalgia. The real point is this cruel disease is a mixture of symptoms mainly pain mixed with anxiety and eight others symptoms. Its like the top ten list of things you wished you never would get alone, nevertheless together.

Like the lady had said to my wife "its all in your head" she quickly responded"yes it is in my head, my neck, my elbows, my back, knees and by the way I will trade your problems for mine". Needless to say the lady walked away quickly without saying a word. That was one of my wife's better days mentally. In addition to the widespread pain you have memory and thinking problems. These problems are very troublesome for her because I know how intelligent she is.This disease doesn't discriminate no two people are alike  in there symptoms.This is not a bible of cures for all loved ones,  just my experiences.

I am no saint.I have my times that my anger builds up like a kettle boiling on the stove sometimes I simply can turn down the heat and other days I just boil over. We learned the best thing was to talk about our feelings. I liken it to the stages of death. During the last 12 years I have gone throught anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

Don't let Fibro overwhelm you. Like an elephant take one bite at a time.

Don't be afraid to educate yourselves. Ask for help, join a support group, start your own rituals.This is not easy but this is what love is. You both have feelings of sadness, frustration, helplessness and loss. But not at the same time. What is left of the relationships up to you.Don't let your happiness be shattered. Don't add more stress to the marriage. Believe in your sex life. Use hot showers and KY Jelly is very helpful. With the balance of your  favorite positions is about communication. If you don't communicate neither one of you is pleasured. Be creative use warm oils, not only to help the muscles to relax her but it feels nice on me also.

Sexuality is important part of our self image and self worth.Its an important part of our marriage.What made it work today may not work the next time. Keep the lines of communication always open. Be creative, it doesn't have to be Valentines Day to bring her flowers or Easter to wear just bunny ears. Set up a soft mood scented candles. I love to write, so ask her for a date, leave the note in the refrigerator. As I said be creative. Love can be just or a hug, sex or whatever you desire

Fibro threatens that very relationship that you hold so dear and need it so much more now more then ever. How much can I/should I ask of my significant other? How much should my significant other have to bear?  Understand this drains a relationship quickly of physical, emotional and psychological energy. Many relationships don't survive. Twelve years ago I asked myself will mine?

I asked myself how can I strengthen/deepen our love in a way that we never had before? Can we discover and enjoy new things to do together? Find new positions comfortable for both of us? These questions and many more is what leads to positive communication in a relationship. I think we are doing a darn good job so far,

Frank Eckert

Thank you for reading my articles



Like us on Facebook!