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Len
Len Berghoef

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George Carlin on Aging (Funny Stuff)
12/6/2007 7:14:44 PM
Hello friends,

I recieved this from a friend and thought I would share it with you.
George Carlin on aging. 
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you'r e less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!


But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!!
You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.
Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2.
Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.
Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4.
Enjoy the simple things.

5.
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.
The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves .. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7.
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, lovers, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8.
Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER
:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
------------------------------------------------------------

Feel free to share this with others. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!


Have a great day! :)

Len
Start a 2nd income and get out of debt! http://alturl.com/aw4yv
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Sheryl Loch

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Re: George Carlin on Aging (Funny Stuff)
12/7/2007 1:45:53 AM
Hello Len!!
I am proud of my age! I just (might) happen to take a couple of years off when I tell people. LOL! That would do me no good as Caitlinn will pop right up & correct me. LOL!
A silly age story~
I bartended for several private parties. That meant going to the liquor store to purchase or pick up cases of alcohol.
 On this day I happened to take Caitlinn that was about 4 y/o at the time. Like every kid she wanted to pay at the register. I told her "no honey you have to be 21 y/o to pay here". She looked at the lady checker & explained that "my mom is NOT 21, she is older". Well, that got the 2 old gals behind me laughing. Cait then snapped around took 1 look at them & announced loudly (as if she was helping the checker approve ID's). "I know they are waaaaay over 21"! Well, the 2 grumpy old galls stopped laughing, explained to me that I should teach my child manners & walked over to another line!

Have a happy day,
Sheryl Loch ~ allmylovecrafts


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Nick Sym

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Re: George Carlin on Aging (Funny Stuff)
12/7/2007 3:54:27 AM
Breast Cancer Awareness On My Site! http://www.freewebs.com/nicksym Free exposure that works http://www.webbizinsider.com/Home.asp?RID=55242
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Re: George Carlin on Aging (Funny Stuff)
12/7/2007 6:36:53 AM

Hi Len

That was great reading, I can actually relate to some of the remarks.  Sure we only as old as we feel.

Travel to Heaven

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".

Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.

Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.

The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

Merry Christmas Len

Fionnuala

http://www.instantbizfix.com


 

Visit your safe place on the Internet http://www.homebizhaven.com
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Re: George Carlin on Aging (Funny Stuff)
12/7/2007 6:59:13 AM

hey, how right you are, i have been 67 for 8months and have reached a new status......"Grumpy Old Man"...whaheeee...i can tell it how it is, and get listened to, mind you the young still think they know better! ! !

Cheers everyone  JB             

jbird
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