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Mahlon Grube

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ANSWERED PRAYERS
9/17/2010 8:07:10 AM
A pastor asked if any one in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, 'I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was smashed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.'

You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, 'Jim was unable to hold the children or me and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.'

Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim and the wire wrapping he had. She continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor's say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.'

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, ‘Good morning, I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, once again, the word is sternum.'
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God Bless You, Mahlon Grube I help people in MLM Succeed. http://ultimatecycler.com/ref/Melsdreamteam http://www.BestJerkyEver.com
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Phillip Black

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RE: ANSWERED PRAYERS
9/17/2010 9:20:18 PM

Hi Mahlon,

Now that's just plain funny!

Let's see what you think of this one...

What's the fastest thing in the world?

So there's these three guys sitting around having a beer & talking.
The first one says "what do you think is the fastest thing in the world?".

The others think for a moment and the second guy says "well I think the fastest thing in the world is electricity!"

The others of course ask "well why?".

He says "well as soon as you flip the switch, the electricity turns on the light! It's instant!".

The first fellow who asked the question says "No, no, no it has to be talking! As soon as you say something to someone, they hear it immediately!".

"Well" the third one says "you're both wrong."

The fastest thing in the world is urine!".

The first two guys looked at each other and then at their friend confused. "well how is urine possibly faster than electricity or talking!?"

"Well" he says "last night I'd had a few Beers and I had to go real bad, and before I could turn on the lights or tell anyone, I peed my pants!"

Have A Great Weekend,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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