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Mahlon Grube

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FROM THE WORDPERFECT HELP DESK
6/10/2010 10:34:50 PM
This is a true Story from the WordPerfect helpline. It is old, but I thought everyone would enjoy it. Needless to say, the help desk Employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect Organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee with a caller:

"Ridge Hall Computer Assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power...A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Session data
God Bless You, Mahlon Grube I help people in MLM Succeed. http://ultimatecycler.com/ref/Melsdreamteam http://www.BestJerkyEver.com
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Peter Fogel

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RE: FROM THE WORDPERFECT HELP DESK
6/11/2010 5:29:48 AM
Hmmmmm, sounds like another Democrat.
Shalom,
Peter
Peter Fogel
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Roger Macdivitt .

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RE: FROM THE WORDPERFECT HELP DESK
6/11/2010 8:57:55 AM

Oh dear,

It sounds like me.

I have had no wireless contact with my network on my laptop but knew the output was ok. After much research I was still no clearer as to what had happened. I went to a local computer superstore and asked for a replacement USB radio pick-up. I was eventually sold a unit which wouldn't install. I gave up.

After visiting another shop for an item for my wife's laptop I had a discussion with them about my problem and they told me my wireless card must be disabled. After more research my computer told me that that was the truth and to turn the switch back on. ???????? Switch? No, not on my laptop. I've had it two years, there's no switch on the side.

Three days later I found it.

The USB thing that I thought needed replacing was my mouse bluetooth dongle.

Doh.

Roger

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Peter Fogel

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RE: FROM THE WORDPERFECT HELP DESK
6/11/2010 12:20:45 PM

Hey Roger,

Are you a Democrat or a blond by any chance? :)

Shalom,

Peter

Peter Fogel
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Roger Macdivitt .

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RE: FROM THE WORDPERFECT HELP DESK
6/11/2010 7:46:54 PM

Certainly not Blond so there's only one possible explanation.

Sorry.

Roger

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