Hi Howard,

Very funny my Friend, and Oh, how true!

Here's a few Rounds in the Battle of the Sexes...

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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

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Clear Day

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do," she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have gotten out today."

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Grooms! Once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "Yes dear."

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My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.

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A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric."
The husband replied, "How about a chair?"

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Kids & Condoms

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see.", replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men", the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy;" Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men, One for January, one for February, one for March..."

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Have A Great Week,

Phil