Hi Sami,

I was not sure I would post here at first but than I decided I might toss out  my opinion..For what that is worth and because you personally ask me to.

Thanks for the personal invitation.

I believe forgiveness is culturally a loaded term. It means different things to different people. Are you asking for forgiveness for the intent or the consequence? I also believe a proper apology should address the actions as well as the intent. If true harm has been done a reasonable attempt at both restitution and prevention should come before the request for any form of forgiveness.

 

"I am sorry I did it but I may do it again" does not suffice for my forgiveness, nor does "I'm sorry I did it and can we move on now?" Show me you changed, and then I'll take you seriously is what I believe. An internal act first must take place in the heart of the person before someone can truly forgive any one for a wrong they been done. That is also true of for the one seeking forgiveness.  Do you really mean it or are you just saying it to make others see what an honorable person you are?

 

Here is a good example:

 

I carelessly say something that hurts your feelings. It was not my intention to do so, but your feelings are hurt and you expect an apology by me. I am aware of your hurt feelings, but have no knowledge as to why your feelings were hurt. It may be that when a full understanding of the situation by both sides is had, my lack of sympathy in making a statement that hurt your feelings may not have been as much at fault as was the unreasonableness of the beliefs that you hold which resulted in your feelings being hurt. There are always two sides to such situations and it is not always clear upon which side the actual blame lies.

 

I distinguish between acts, which are unintentionally hurtful or injurious, and those, which are calculated- and intended- to hurt or injure.

 

The former is always forgivable. However, the later “Let me get away with something I shouldn't have gotten away with" Is not as quickly  deserving of forgiveness.

 

I love this community as much as anyone that is here or I would not have stayed this long. I have made friendships here that I am sure will last a lifetime. Learn to agree to disagree without taking offense to someone else’s opinions. No one can agree on everything. That would make life rather dull.

 

If someone feels  I have intentionally meant to hurt you, you are mistaken. I do not harm others just for the sake of pleasure. If I have hurt someone's feelings it was unintentional, I am truly sorry.

I have a whole laundry list of hurts I have received from people in this community and not one single time as anyone ever sought my forgiveness. But, than again I do not wear my feelings on my shoulders.

 

Blessings,

 

Geketa

Hello friends,

Again let me register my appreciation to everyone that has so far posted his/her contribution to this campaign. Welldone friends!

Permit me to re-echo the general opinion here of the diversity that is the hallmark of our community. Roger Macdivitt has made a very critical analysis of our situation in his post:

Adland has members who represent a wide range of spiritual and religious beliefs, those who reject any thoughts of spirituality, those who hold differing political views, those who just don't care.............. need I go on?

Adland has a reserved approach to online business, business is welcome if it's not pushed in your face. Adland reflects the larger world IN ALL IT'S WONDER, WARTS AND ALL.

THE GREAT THING IS there are those who having made a mistake, having been misunderstood or having been just plain insensitive STAND UP AND SAY SORRY.

This has clearly capatured the true picture of our community and the need to accomodate our diverse opinions.
Another area of note that we should not be oblivious of, is presented by Amanda Martin-Shaver in her contribution:

One has to learn no matter how hard you try, and present all your knowledge and facts on the subject there are people whom are just not going to come over to your side and see things in the
same light as you and vice versa. (e.g. I do not agree with theirs) This what makes us unique and diverse. 

We should be ready to accept criticism from our friends and members of the community if we really want to discover our mistakes and develop our knowledge. Manufacturers and developers would all put their works forward for test and criticism before such products can be approved fit for official use. But also we need to know how we put forward our disagreement to such topics, this is where respect and courtesy come in.

In response to Geketa Holman's post, I want to reiterate my earlier appeal that our show of restitution here should transcend mere posting of a general or blanket statement of forgiveness solicitation or offer of it. From what I could interprete from our different posts, we do have one or two members in mind which we believe have offended us or vice versa. I quite agree with Geketa that we should make the move, it does not cost us anything: send PMs to those you think have stepped hurtily on your toes and let them know what they did and your new resolve to forgive them and move on. It can be the other way around, no stress!!

I have already made my move as promised to my friend eventhough I don't know the reason for her action. I'll continue until she responds and hopefully resolve whatever have been our differences.

One other thing I notice in this community is that most of us realy on heresay without taking steps to approach the person concern to ascertain the truth. This again is not right.

Again, thank you to everyone of you, special thanks to Wilson Blow who has joined us for the first time. You're welcome my friend. Let us also spread this message by encouraging our friends to come in and brainstorm with us for a better community!!
Kathy Hamilton's advice is my conclusion:

Start your new year off by setting the example for others to look up to you instead of looking down at you, Make peace not war, Love one another, Time is so short make your life count,,,,,,,,,,

One thing is crucial when it comes to this.Even if I know that someone has hurt me, it´s up to me to chose to forgive the other person and swallow my own pride.Even if the other person has hurt me I must chose to forgive and that is what forgiveness is about.I can´t decide what the other person will decide, I can only hope that he/she also forgives me. May 2009 be a year when AdlandPro will rise above this and stretch forward towards greater times! Forgive and forget!

Hello Sam and Friends Sometimes, when I have questions about life in general and even about my own personal experience, I look for answers in Native American Folklore and Poetry. The following is something I found while thinking about this forum. I hope you like it as much as I do. This Is The Hour The Hopi Nation Elders This is not really a poem... but it's beautiful like a poem and we wanted to give it a home. These words of wisdom were handed down to us by the Hopi Nation Elders of Oraibi, Arizona. You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered: Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in right relation? Where is your water? Know your garden. It is time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time! There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold onto the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/poetry.cgi?record=113

I quite agree with Geketa that we should make the move, it does not cost us anything: send PMs to those you think have stepped hurtily on your toes and let them know what they did and your new resolve to forgive them and move on. It can be the other way around, no stress!!

Hi Sam.

I've offered an apology for offensive words and things I've done here in your topic. 

In the past I've contacted people privately via PM to discuss the situation and haven't had very good luck. In my heart God knows how I feel and that I'm truly sorry and asked for forgiveness. 

That is what I'm going to do in this situation. I want to try and get past  unpleasant situations that have occured the past 6 months or so.

And it would not be good to see a private apology from any Adland member show up in a forum as has happened in the past.  That might happen again and that would not be so pleasant.

Yes, Kathy made an excellent comment!!!

Kathy Hamilton's advice is my conclusion:

Start your new year off by setting the example for others to look up to you instead of looking down at you, Make peace not war, Love one another, Time is so short make your life count,,,,,,,,,,

 

Thanks Sam for giving us this forum to request forgiveness for mistakes we have made.

Pat