Hi John,
Thanks as always for the Laughs. I have to agree, they're all hilarious, but you've got a real winner there with #19.
Just in time for the weekend, I hope you won't mind if I add a few more...
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocaine during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Toilet training a young child is always a matter of pot luck.
The bar mirror allowed him to watch his drinking.
The priest did not appreciate the smell coming from the commune. In fact, he was incensed.
Dieting is a way of living a little longer by starving yourself to death.
As he approached the bridge in rush hour, his radio played The Car Strangled Spanner.
When the trucker barely passed the mountain driving test, he just made the grade.
One young lady told a friend, 'Whenever I'm down in the dumps I buy myself a dress.' The other one said, 'I've always wondered where you got them.'
While delivering 1000 gallons of dark pigment he almost painted, then blacked out.
And one of my favorites of all times...
The Frog hopped into the Bank because he needed to borrow some money. The Loan Officer, Ms. Paddywack, asked him if he had any Collateral. Unfortunately, the only thing that he could come up with was a small Statue of an Elephant with a Clock in it's belly. Although doubtful about the Loan, Ms. Paddywack, picking up the statue, went into the office of the V.P. of Finance, Mr. Johnson, to get his opinion. After finding how much cash that the Frog needed, and carefully examining the "Collateral", Mr. Johnson scratched his head for a moment and said, "It's a Knick Knack Paddywack, give the Frog a Loan.".
Have A Happy Weekend,
Phil
