How to Win Friends and Influence People. Discussion Topic @ AdlandPro Community

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:19:48 GMT

- Here is the "premise" for this forum -

***** NEVER sell a product or service. Sell YOURSELF. *****
- It's really the only thing that people (need to) buy. -
- a presentation by Gunther G.

Above is the key to the seminars and sales training workshops I have been giving since I "retired" in 1991.

Below is what has been the source of what has given me everything I will ever need in life.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first bestselling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1937, it has sold more than 16 million copies. It has been translated to the main languages of the world. It was a New York Times best seller for 10 years. It is already over its 42nd edition.

The book gives tips and strategies for communicating with people. In contrast with some modern theories of psychology, which emphasize autonomy, self-expression and assertiveness, it echoes Lord Chesterfield's view that pleasing others is both a duty and a paradoxical route to personal success.

The book has four major sections. The core principles of each section are listed below.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

"Don't criticize, condemn or complain."
"Give people a feeling of importance; praise the good parts of them."
"Get the other person to do what you want them to by arousing their desires."

Six Ways to Make People Like You

"Become genuinely interested in other people."
"Smile."
"Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
"Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves."
"Talk in the terms of the other man's interest."
"Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely."

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

"Avoid arguments."
"Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong."
"If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."
"Begin in a friendly way."
"Start with questions the other person will answer yes to."
"Let the other person do the talking."
"Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers."
"Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view."
"Sympathize with the other person."
"Appeal to noble motives."
"Dramatize your ideas."
"Throw down a challenge."

Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

"Begin with praise and honest appreciation."
"Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly."
"Talk about your own mistakes first."
"Ask questions instead of giving direct orders."
"Let the other person save face."
"Praise every improvement."
"Give them a fine reputation to live up to."
"Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct."
"Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest."

My friends, when you STOP SELLING and start making friends you will have taken a tremendous step towards your own success.

Care to join me? Become my Associate and PASSIVELY promote yourself and you business interests here and join the others that have already done so.

Here are 3 of my favorite quotes that will help you achieve success in whatever it is you do as they appear on my primary website.

"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life." - Greg Anderson

"There are none so Blind, Deaf, and Dumb, as those that fail to Recognize, Understand, and Promote TRUTH." - Gunther G.

It ALWAYS hurts when you pat yourself on your own back. It's meant to. A much better way is to act in such a way that others will pat you on the back for what you do. That way BOTH parties feel better about the experience. - Gunther G.

Recommended websites to learn more about me and what I do.

http://viralurl.com/GENGRO/selfgrowth

http://viralurl.com/GENGRO/gengro4success/

Created By: GENGRO

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:38:45 GMT

Thank you for the information I will check it out

Remember Rushing Travel Agent for all your travel needs

Created By: afdc

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:05:45 GMT

Hi Shirley.

Thank you for your post. You are the FIRST. :)

YOU, NOT what you do or what your business or work interests are, is the KEY to success. THAT is what defines a person. THAT and the FRIENDS they have, and how they relate to them, tells me more about a person than any "offer" about a business they are involved with ever will. I think you would have to agree with that, would you not?

Created By: GENGRO

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:50:47 GMT

Hello Gunther,

Thanks for the invite and information. I really must compliment you on a well constructed sales letter. Very passive, but does make the sale. It gets folks to check out your sites and I believe that was the intent.

I used to have great conversations with a friend about relations marketing and I called it salesmanship. Which I believe is one in the same. As a in-home sales consultant I practice many of the concepts you describe here, all with the intention of making the sale.

Your web page tells the story of the car dealership and certifies my belief that as long as you are trying to provide service to your client then you are building that relationship that develops the trust they need to make the purchase.

To do the above you have to become a good listener, so that you may address their issues on a personal basis and a good salesman practices these techniques and they were taught to me in a Dale Carnegie course, I attended years ago.

Jim

Created By: jallen3d

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:49:48 GMT

Thank you Jim.

Jim, I'm sorry that you view this as a "sales letter". It's the effect, perhaps, but certainly not the intent. At least not solely. In fact this entire forum is to, hopefully, get people here at ALP to get away from simply promoting their "BizOps" and to start focusing on what becoming successful is all about. At least the way I look at it. Real friends and one's relationships with them is about a whole lot more than making money, isn't it? It certainly is to me.

(by edit) Having read it again I can understand why you viewed it as you did. I do write "sales letters" as part of my offline business and I guess it could come across as one to someone as knowledgeable about such things as you are.

Jim, I agree with your post up to a point. IMHO you don't quite get to the most important part. Since you've read the "expert" page I have you will have noticed some things you failed to mention.

"Thus started my career in "sales". I loved every minute of it. Because you see, I never "sold" anything. I simply made a lot of friends that trusted me enough to purchase something from me. That first customer bought 6 cars from me while I was selling cars plus several of his relatives and friends did as well. Why? Because I was their FRIEND and therefore much more than a "car salesman". I had managed to "sell myself". It's almost 20 years now since I was last in the "car business" and I still have a goodly number of people, friends, asking me where and what cars to buy. I still advise them."

If I may, I'd like your opinion on the following.

What was the "sale"? Was it a car or was it me that I was selling? Only 3 of the 6 cars I sold to my NEW friend and his family were from the first dealership I worked at. What does that mean?

What am I selling now? What's my "product" or "service" now?

The fact is that what I "sell" now is the same thing I sold whether it was cars, houses, insurance, or anything else, including in the "real life" business I've run since I retired in 1991.

To just "sell" a product or service and get a commission should NEVER be what it's about. It never has been for me.

When I state that what I promote and do on line is all about helping others to become successful I'm 100% sincere. IF any financial benefit flows to me from doing that it's entirely incidental.

***** NEVER sell a product or service. Sell YOURSELF. *****
- It's really the only thing that people (need to) buy. -

Created By: GENGRO

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:38:10 GMT

hello Gunther...thank you for bring these good points to our attention...points to ponder indeed.

Larry

Created By: bluelight505

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:22:39 GMT

Thank you Larry, I hope many people do just that. think about the other person rather than themselves. Or as our business moto states; "Treat everyone you meet as though you were standing in their shoes".

Actually that's where I have great difficulty with "Internet Marketing". The "personal contact", the ability to truly make REAL friends simply isn't there.

Gunther G.

Created By: GENGRO

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:24:34 GMT

Thank you my friends for all your posts on this forum.

The better part of one's life consists of his friendships. - Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th President of the United States

Created By: GENGRO

Re: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:25:58 GMT

Hello Gunther

Thank you so much for all of that great insight.

Best to you

Alba

Created By: dofficeassistant